Reflections on Leadership

In 2008 I published a book, How To Stay When You Want to Quit; Re-scripting your life from Whiner to Winner. I wrote it a few years before that but it sat in a drawer for a while. Before that it was a speech I gave to a few people who were feeling beaten down by work and before that … well, I lived most of it.

The story is about two friends who are pressing hard at their careers. One is fortunate to be working with a great boss who has mentored and challenged her to be her best.  Unfortunately the other has had the opposite experience. He has been through a heavy rotation of managers, many of whom spoke a good game but never really showed up to play.

It’s a non-traditional business book in that it’s half screenplay and half workbook. I wrote it in the hopes that others would pick up a few tips they could use to help bring positive action to themselves or others who were disillusioned in their jobs.

Naturally I was thrilled to be asked to participate in Ken Blanchard’s LeadershipLiveCast, “Quit and Stayed” on January 25, 2012. As a recovering quitter I know how tempting it is to whine and blame everything on burnout even if you’re acting like an arsonist. For me, I knew I had to learn how to stay, even though I wanted to quit. So I began to re-script my life from whiner to winner.

I started with my attitude; I began to look at things as challenges aching to be solved, not insurmountable problems. Next I began to question what it was I really wanted? The answer didn’t come right away because I was so entrenched by all the things I didn’t want. So I tried a different tactic and asked myself, “Why are you still here?”  After all, when people want to quit, they quit. When they don’t, it’s because some secondary benefit is being met and usually it’s for one of three reasons.

1. To work on your personal development.
2. To work with enriching people.
3. To work on something bigger than yourself.

Figuring that out helped me stay during a rough patch, It helped me to continue to provide for my family and as a manager helped me to reengage with my coworkers.

As a leader it put me in a better frame of mind and I used the same questions to help those who I saw were mentally quitting.

• What’s going right?
• What do you really want?
• What’s keeping you here?
• What will you do in the meantime?

Most people aren’t going to stay in the same position let alone same industry for their whole career. As a leader, if you can help them get to the next place faster, you’ll both be more engaged and productive.

I hope you’ll be able to join the webinar this week or pick up my book. I’ve learned a few things about people, business and publishing in the time that’s passed since it came out, so I’d love to hear your stories and feedback that I may include in a new edition later in the year.

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When I was in my early twenties, friends and I used to start the year optimistically with some mantra or pithy phrase for the New Year.

In my thirties, I learned more about goal setting and how to achieve them faster. I also created elaborate documents filled with metrics and dashboards with pictures of success. My success rate was good, but I often became enslaved to numbers, not intent or purpose. As a result, any celebration felt lackluster, if I bothered to have one at all.

In recent years I’ve been getting back to basics and using words as a theme and compass for the year ahead. This year my focusing words are Create, Prosper and Confidence.

You can bet behind each of them I have a specific vision, strategy, tactics and measures of success, but I’ve become far less uptight about the bottom-line numbers.

I’m a believer in broadcasting a piece of your goals so people can help hold you accountable to them, but sometimes a public declaration can take the steam out of it. Once you declared something and people hold you accountable it can begin to feel like an obligation and people helping you feel like nags. This can be positive and powerful for some. I wouldn’t have built a business around being an accountability partner if it wasn’t. However, some goals should remain private.

They may not be for public consumption but they are no less grand, or inspiriting or noble. These are the secret goals that paint a smirk across your face when you work on them. There’s a thrill and deep satisfaction knowing that you’re accomplishing something grand unbeknownst to others. This is the place where the overnight success is born. Away from the spotlight, in the shadows where no one is looking.

Private goals achieved is often far more satisfying because you did it yourself, without outside intervention. You could have quit at anytime and no one would have known or cared. Except you, and you cared, and you don’t quit. These ones are too important.

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Here are eighteen lame excuses I’ve heard, and given a few times, and no nonsense remedies that will help you grow and get your next great goal.

1. I don’t know what my passion is. If you know you want to do something, but don’t know what, figure out where you’ve been spending your time and money over the last three months. Start there.
   
2. I don’t know what I can contribute. When you strip out the noise, the only thing you can really contribute to anything is your own perspective, and that’s invaluable.
3. I don’t have enough education. Let me Google that for you. Don’t have a computer? Go to a library and start learning.
4. I don’t know any of the right people. They are probably on Twitter, Facebook, or Linkedin. Find them, or the people who know them.
5. I don’t have enough money. Someone does, money is everywhere. Focus on finding the right buyer.
6. I think it’s too hard. So what? If it were too easy, you wouldn’t bother.
7. Someone else is already doing it. It doesn’t matter, they are not you. They don’t have your perspective and set of experiences. Competition makes you better.
8. I don’t know where to start. It’s a two part process; Someplace, and Now.
9. I don’t know if anyone will care. Start with you. All that matters initially is that you care. People follow leaders who care.
10. I haven’t done this before. Everything you do now was once something you hadn’t done before.
11. I don’t think I’m that good. Give yourself permission to get better or delegate.
12. I’ll do it later. No, you probably won’t. You haven’t yet. Revisit #8.
13. I don’t think I can commit right now. What date can you commit?
14. There are too many obstacles. Then you’re probably on to something. Great stories, and great lives, always have conflict.
15. I did everything I could think of. Probably not everything, just the things you wanted to do. Keep at it. Do it again, but different this time.
16. I’m too tired for this. Structure your day to include eating, exercising, resting, playing and working. Everyday you will be simultaneously exhausted and energized.
17. It doesn’t “feel” right to me. Feelings are often used as an excuses to not do something your head knows is right. Feelings are important in their own right, so don’t saddle them as an alibi for inaction.
18. I’m worried people will think I’m crazy. That’s called innovation, embrace it. Be one of the crazy ones.

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The only path to success that matters is the one you forge for yourself. You can read self-help books, attend personal development seminars, seek wisdom from old sages and new whiz kids alike. They all have their opinion and if you listen to enough of them you will likely be so utterly confused you’ll begin to question your own motives.

For every guru who preaches patience, another advises massive action. For those who say keep high standards and be discerning over the projects you accept, another will tell you to accept everything and learn along the way. For those who say live a balanced life, another says focus only on your strengths.

I’m convinced everyone who has the freedom of choice has the ability to chart their own course. It may not be the route you want to take. You might be bored by the view or impatient with your progress. Those are issues with how you go about enjoying the journey, not about your chosen path. Some will follow well-traveled paths and some take another. As Robert Frost reminds us, that can make all the difference.

Sometimes we need a guide, but this pathfinder does no good if they don’t know where you want to go. They ask thoughtful questions that will reveal what you want and what holds you back. If you’re open to seeing it, they can show you the way. The steps you take and the speed you make are completely up to you.

Where do you want to go?

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Can you imagine what you would feel like if six months from now, you achieved great strides in your goals?

Most people can’t, so most people don’t. Most people don’t even have goals, and of the one’s that do, most have too many.

People say they don’t have enough time or money to achieve their goals. It’s that kind of thinking that continues to keep them from their dreams.

Some people sabotage themselves. They do all the “right” things and then panic. What if they succeed? What would happen next? It freaks them out, so instead of one or two more steps toward greatness, they settle for mediocrity.

Think back six months ago. Did you have a great goal in mind? Did you think you would have achieved it by now? Maybe you nibbled at it, like a tentative child eying an unusual dessert, torn between wanting it because, well it’s dessert, but hesitant because it looks different and someone might be trying to pull a fast one.

People are well intentioned. Most have great desires, but they stumble because, as John Lennon once sang, Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. That doesn’t mean you should quit your goals. In fact, it should heighten your resolve.

Can you imagine something your yearning to achieve is so great that nothing can derail you from it?

Are you smirking with that distinctive grin that tips one corner of your mouth upward and makes your eyes sparkle?

I know you are because it’s the look that people who share the same devilish secret can’t hide. It’s possibility, and passion and a hint of giddiness that makes you come alive each time you think of it. You’ve been found out and the thought of helping you find, set or get your goal is what makes me smirk.

I don’t want people to be okay losing that feeling. I don’t want people deferring their dreams any more. I want everyone to have a great goal of their own choosing and the confidence and resources to achieve it. That’s why I’m excited to announce a new Accountability Partner driven program, “The Goal Factory.”

It assembles several key components into an intensive goal creation process covering topics like:

• Finding your next Great Goal through Goal Discovery
• Conducting a Life Harmony Audit.
• How to find and use your values to guide your vision
• Acting with Purpose.
• Making Your Great Goal Real.

CLICK HERE to Learn more about The Goal Factory, and if you’re ready to find, set or get your next great goal, get in touch with me.

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Writers know that there are certain words that clutter the page. Nearly, Rather, Some and Very are common examples. That’s not to say they’re never used or always omitted, but when you see them, you know the writer was being a little lazy in that sentence because they could have written it in a different, compelling way.

People get lazy in their discussions with each other. Always and Never are two words that get loudly bantered about like a ping pong ball. Those two words in particular are emotionally charged and most often used when the speaker is expressing a definitive opinion, disguised in an accusation.

An argument inevitably occurs when one speaker starts with an, “I always…” or a “You never…”

The unavoidable reaction from the other sounds like, “You always…” or “I never…”

On and on it goes. Point, counter point; both issue opinions that they think are facts.

Facts have certainty while the words Always and Never only sound like they do. True, the sun always rises in the East and sets in the West. Not true, that you never make the bed. You probably have at least once and probably will again. Nature has some certainty to it, we do not. Always and Never are inflammatory rhetoric seldom used in a well meaning way.

Always is forever,
and most things seldom are.
Never is not ever,
and that goes a bit too far.
Sometimes rests between the two,
with honesty and moderation.
But sometimes lacks the punch for you,
and reeks of hesitation.

Always and Never have been used in a destructive manner for too long. I’m not suggesting a movement that strips them from your vocabulary. I’m suggesting you use them when stating a desire instead of blame.

Be honest with Sometimes, which can probably replace Always and Never in most of your language. Grow more definitive in your life. Don’t have values or beliefs that you sometimes follow. And of course…

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The good news is you can set goals anytime you want. You don’t have to wait until New Year’s Eve, the beginning of a new quarter or even a Monday. You can start right now.

Turbo charge your goals by using the Goal Planner Worksheet from Karl Bimshas Consulting. It will help you organize your thoughts and serve as a blueprint for achieving what’s important to you.

Click HERE to get started.

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Three months ago I began the daily ritual of recording my assertions in a notebook. By logging your assertions for a 90 day period you’ll gain insight into what you know and what you don’t know.

Since I’ve been going through several changes in my life that have caused me to second guess many of my assumptions, this seemed like a good time to test myself.

Those who have worked with me know that I’m not shy about admitting what I don’t know. Those who have lived with me know I’m not shy about sharing what I think I know and as endearing as I may like to think that trait is, I reluctantly acknowledge it flirts with arrogance.

The point of this exercise, besides reinforcing the discipline of writing everyday, is to evaluate which assertions were correct and which were wrong.

The scope of my assertions were fairly broad. Family and business issues shared space with political and sports predictions. My recent analysis showed I was no better or worse in one area than another. With 90 days of data I learned that 56% of my assertions were correct, 25% were incorrect and 19% are pending resolution.

This filled me with a sense of pride and confidence. To know my instinctual assertions on a variety of subjects are correct well over 50% of the time (and closer to 69% if I ignore the pending assertions) is very appealing…to me…and probably only me. You see, most others still don’t really care because being a person who is often right doesn’t hold a candle to the one who is most often kind. The lesson is to endeavor to frequently be both, right and kind.

Try this exercise yourself. Record your assertions everyday for 90 days. You’ll learn what you feel confident asserting your opinion about and how often you’re right. You’ll learn who influences your assertions and what kind of influence you have on various outcomes. You will learn something about yourself, and that’s what should happen when you reflect on leadership.

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By sharing my leadership point of view, you’ll have a better understanding of who I am as a leader and artist and what I stand for. You’ll get insight on where I’m coming from and how I think.

There are four philosophies you should know about me right up front.

1. I love the study of leadership.
2. I have high expectations and high hopes for people.
3. I’m more interested in strengths than I am in weaknesses.
4. Poor leadership decisions don’t just tick me off; they motivate me to find better ones and to foster the leader within others.

Background
When I was a child I was ambidextrous. Because I had equal comfort I often switched between my left and right hands mid-sentence or in the middle of drawing a circle. This befuddled my teachers so they told me I had to choose a hand because they felt it was interfering with my school work. I picked my left and that seems congruent with my lifelong habit of choosing the more difficult path.

A few years later my parents got a divorce, although I don’t think it had anything to do with my hand choice. My school work suffered anyway and my teachers felt it better for me to be placed in a “slower” class. I don’t know if you remember those Resource Centers, beautifully named but socially ostracized places. I was put in a room with other “slow” kids. When we were released to join the rest of the students in easier subjects like art and gym you couldn’t help but feel like a second class citizen. That went on for about six years and my mild dyslexia didn’t help me to feel any better about myself.

I wanted to enter high school without the “help” of the resource center. I recall the first grade I received. It was for social studies and I got a “C” on my assignment. The teacher asked to meet with me after class and he explained that he graded me a “C” originally but later received a note from the Resource Center people; I guess I was on some sort of watch list. He said he could up it to a “B” based on their scale if I wanted him to. I didn’t give it a second of thought before I told him I’d take the “C” because how else was I going to improve if I wasn’t held to the same standard as everyone else? He seemed impressed with that and I was never bothered from the Resource Center people again.

Since then I’ve be attracted to the leaders and artists who focus on people’s strengths. I learned to intertwine the values of strength and creativity from my parents. I don’t dwell on life’s hurdles. Instead, I focus on the talents and gifts we have to clear those hurdles.

I have a thirst for making a difference. Using insightfulness and creativity, I’m happiest when I can lead and inspire others to maximize their strengths and continuously improve themselves, their organization or our society, by bringing the powers of vision, passion and action. I believe this helps positively energize our nation and contributes to greater peace, prosperity, fun, understanding, responsibility and liberty in the world. I do this by regularly focusing on the four pillars of my mission.

1. Make a Positive Difference in the lives of others.
2. Strive to Lead and Inspire through my words and deeds.
3. Maximize the Strengths of others by using my own.
4. Continually Improve and Contribute to a “more perfect union”.

I enjoy being an inspiration to people who in turn inspire themselves. I like to help others find their strengths and see what they have to offer our joint endeavor.

I want to help you find your vision or purpose. If you’ve already found it, that’s great.  I want to help you clear the obstacles off your path so you can reach your goals.

I do this partly for selfish reasons. I like how it infuses me with energy. It forces me to take my focus off myself, and put it on others, the way a servant leader should. It also gives me the opportunity to combat the damaging effects of poor leaders, influencers, and others who abuse their enormous power either through intent or ignorance.

What does helping bring out the best in people and having a clear goal look like? Think of President John Kennedy and his crazy idea of landing on the moon. He said;

“We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; Because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills; Because that challenge is one that we’re willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone and one we intend to win.”

Humankind had been staring up toward the sky for thousands of years wondering about the moon. One day not that long ago, one of us said, let’s do it, let’s go there within ten years — and we did it! A fascinating feat that illustrates that just about anything is possible with vision, passion, action and a deadline.

I like to measure things, less to see shortfalls but instead to see what we’re capable of doing and to build our credibility. I love to see the charts and graphs of goals and measurements of success; to see the results of common things in uncommon ways. I’m an observer, deliberative and analytical. I used to read American Demographics magazine for pleasure, so that should gives you some clues.

I am in a constant state of learning and application when it comes to leadership. Sometimes this can come across as tinkering, although I prefer the word refinement. Either way, it’s with the best of intentions. I focus on strengths instead of weaknesses. Yes, sometimes weaknesses need to be addressed, but to overcome them I discover what can be done, versus what can’t. I lead toward the future not from the past.  I measure and monitor with success metrics; managing by fact, not by whimsy.

Here are a few things you can expect from me in our interactions:

• Two questions asked equally often, “Why?” or “Why not?”
• A quest for continuous improvement, to make good things great things.
• Measures for success, setting you up to win.
• The testing of assumptions, tasks, and decisions against the Vision or Objective.
• A greater interest in strengths, not irrelevant weaknesses.
• An abundance mentality that will push you to explore possibilities.
• An irritation with poor leadership decisions, be they my own or others.

And here’s what I expect from you if you want to build a beneficial relationship:

• Be open to new or alternative approaches.
• Ask me, “So what?” or “Who cares?” to keep me focused.
• Give seemingly “crazy ideas” a chance to breathe.
• Support vetted processes that we prove work.
• Give and receive education easily.
• Call BS, BS.
• Have a sense of humor about yourself, the world and me.

I believe everyone has the capacity to become a leader, and it’s the responsibility of each of us to identify that special talent we possess and to pursue it relentlessly.

While you make your mark and decide what you want to be positively remembered for during your time here, know, feel and act like you make a difference, because you do.  That’s why I’m committed to helping talented leaders and artists find the a-ha within.

So, how can I help you today?

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My brother, Jack made a remarkable observation on the gift of perseverance the other day. I’m pleased he’s allowed me to share it with you.

With all the problems we see around us, disasters, financial, emotional, political, religious to list a very few. I was captivated the other day by the beauty and horror of nature.

I’d noticed many Killdeer all around the building that my company has reconstructed and is beginning to move into. I’ve always liked these little birds. They are ground birds similar to ocean shore Terns that run back and forth with the waves. One in particular has been nesting in pebbles right next to a patio near the entrance I usually use. She used to scream as I walked by but then got used to me going by I guess and just sat motionless, keeping an eye on me.

Last Friday when the sky opened up and there was an incredible downpour, I went to the window to watch for a minute. I noticed a Killdeer running across the driveway and jumping up the curb on the other side. “Running for cover” I thought. Then I saw this itty bitty tiny figure following her! About the size of a humming bird I would say. It raced across the driveway that was becoming a raging river and just couldn’t make the jump up the new curb. The Mom ran back and forth encouraging it – but it could not make it.

I noticed a gap in the curb and hoped the little guy would find it but it ran the other way. I saw no gaps that way, only the street a few hundred feet away. It ran up and then back down. The Mom running back and forth with it! Then it found the gap and quickly went through. That’s when I noticed that there was a small ditch on the other side! (Small to us but huge to the little bird!) It rushed in but was soon out of site. The Mom went “downstream” following it and then stopped, huddled near the bank. I could not tell if the baby had made it or drown! I watched a bit and then recalled the other mother I usually passed on the other side of the building. I went over there and looked but saw nothing. Nothing but pouring rain and pebbles and stones near the patio.

“Oh, poor thing” I was thinking. Then I saw her! Bravely huddled down among the stones still sitting on her eggs! What a gallant little animal! I hope her eggs hatch before the landscaping makes it to that part of the property!

On my way back to my office the rain stopped and as I passed the window I noticed the little bird again running across the driveway behind it’s Mom! Dodging the landscaping vehicles that were coming to life after the rain as well. It looked to be the same one, so I tell myself it was. Killdeer usually start with 4-6 eggs so this was the Mom’s last one. The other bird still sitting on the eggs luckily had four.

It was a reminder that nature is very tough on other inhabitants of this earth as well people. Yet they don’t give up in frustration.

I’m sure, like my brother, you’ve witnesses similar acts of perseverance with other animals. The world is tough, it’s as messy as it is beautiful, it’s as brutal as it is merciful. Instincts keep most creatures focused on their goals. Fear is what keeps most people from their goals.

When you’re in pursuit of a worthy goal, the world may throw a lot of obstacles in front of you. It’s okay, expect them. You can even use some of them to help you. But never, ever give up.

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